So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole… …A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her…
Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon…
The flight attendant see’s a suspicious looking couple onboard, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. “Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, graceful and rich looking female passenger onboard. She looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, old, redhead slob…
Old man MacGregor is on his deathbed, and his wife is at his side. He says, “Sarah my bonny wife, I’ve a few things I need to tell you before I pass on. It’s a matter of my honor, so you must remember exactly as i tell ye.” His wife says, “Oh aye, my husband….
The phone bill was exceptionally high… …. so the husband called a family meeting to discuss the issue. Dad: This is unacceptable. I don’t use the home phone, I use my work phone. Mum: Me too. I hardly use our home phone. I use my company’s phone. Son: I always use my office mobile, I…
The phone bill was exceptionally high. The man of the house called a family meeting to discuss. The phone bill was exceptionally high. The man of the house called a family meeting to discuss. Dad: This is unacceptable. I don’t use the home phone. I use my work phone. Mum: Me too, I hardly use…
A gorilla walks into a restaurant. He sits down at a booth and a waitress comes over to take his order. He orders an ice cream sundae. The waitress goes back into the kitchen, gets him an ice cream sundae and takes it to his table. The gorilla eats the sundae and then motions to…
The teacher asks, “Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?” The teacher asks, “Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?” Flora blushes and says, “That’s disgusting, I won’t even answer that question.” The teacher calls on Johnny: “What part of the human body increases ten…
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I…
A attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “Paul, I have good news and bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000…