A groom breaks tradition by taking a quiet moment with his bride before their wedding… He can barely get one word in before she drops to her knees and gives him the best blowjob he’s ever had. Later, beaming, as he takes his place at the altar, his best man asks him why he’s so…
Young Timmy asks his mother a question. “Mummy?” begins Timmy “Yes, Timmy?” she responds, a smile on her face. “Why do you jump up and down on Daddy’s tummy in bed at night?” Slightly shocked, she held her composure. “Well, Timmy, it’s because I’m pushing all of the air out of Daddy’s tummy so that…
A man walks into a diner one day and orders a bowl of chili but the waitress says she gave the last of it to a guy sitting nearby who is just staring at it. After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, “Are you going to eat that?” The…
A little boy saw his mother naked.. and asked her, “What is that between your legs?” The woman, having not shaved her pubic hair in a while, says, “It’s my wash cloth, darling.” The woman shaves her pubic hair that night. A few days later, the boy sees his mother naked again. “Mom, where did…
Raped by an elephant A man crawls into the emergency room profusely bleeding from his anus. “Somebody help! I’ve been raped by an elephant!” The staff was able to get him into surgery to stop the bleeding. Examining the initial hole, the nurse was amazed. It was as as wide as a dinner plate! She…
At the hospital on the battlefield A severely wounded General was carried in. The doctor immediately started operate on the general in attempt to save his life. During the surgery, the nurse had an uncanny face and acted odd. All of a sudden, the nurse took out a knife and stabbed the doctor. While crying,…
Pit Bull at the Funeral A guy is walking down the street and sees a massive funeral procession. At the front of the line is a man with a pit bull, then 2 coffins, followed by 200 people. Curious, he asks the man what happened. “Well,” says the man, “My pitbull killed my wife last…
My wife and I wanted the sex of our baby to be a secret. She and I were sure the baby would be a girl, with four names, and we picked Alyssa Cassidy Shea Smith to be her name.. but there was always that doubt in the back of our minds. The delivery day came…
Pull A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy doesn’t move. “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy doesn’t budge. “Pull, Coco, pull!” Nothing. Then the farmer says, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse drags the car…
My girlfriend invited me to her house. My girlfriend invited me to her house where I found her sister alone. So I sat there waiting for my girlfriend while her unbelievable sexy sister was sitting next to me. A few moments later she whispered to me ‘we should have sex while my sister isn’t home….