Everyone asked a 100-year-old man and his 98-year-old wife for their health secrets. The old man said “I’ll tell you my secret. I’ve been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometres. So I’ve been walking 5 kilometres every…
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the…
A man dies and he’s able to be in heaven and in hell for 1 day so he could choose which he likes best. And heaven was boring as fuck and hell was a 24/7 hookers and blow non stop party. So the next day he goes back to st Peter? And says, “nah.. I’m…
I haven’t had sex since 1956 A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied “1956, ma’am.” The woman, in disbelief said “1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.” The woman and general went back to her apartment…
Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car… … And they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him “Do you know how fast you were going?” “No, but I know exactly where I am” Heisenberg replies. The cop says “You were doing 55 in a 35.” Heisenberg throws up his hands…
A man goes into a drug store and asked to buy condoms the salesperson ask how many he needs The man says I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and I am having dinner with her parents tonight and then we’re going out and I think I’m going to get lucky I’ll need 12….
I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so… I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, “You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!” She didn’t hear me and proceeded…
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the supermarket when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy: “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” “That’s okay,” the young guy says. “It’s a coincidence really because…
Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said, “Think I enjoy the rodeo position the best.” “I don’t think I have ever heard of that one,” said the other cowboy. “What is it?” “Well, it’s…
A Gorgeous Young Redhead Goes into the Doctor’s Office… She said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she…