Honeymoon The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, “Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see.” A frosty silence prevailed…
A man wants to show his love to his wife…. so he decides to get her name, Whitney, tattooed on his erected penis, and when he is flaccid all you can see in a “w” and a “y.” A week later the married couple go on vacation to Jamaica. While peeing at the urinal the…
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said…
Jesus was wandering the desert, when he met an old man. “What brings you to the desert?” asked Jesus. “I’m looking for my son. I lost him many years ago.” “How did you lose him? What happened?” “I had one son- not by birth, by a heavenly miracle. He had tremendous struggles with temptation. At…
A man was waiting for a bus one day, when he noticed a young blonde woman digging a hole… …and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills…
A British doctor says: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job.” The German doctor replies: “That’s nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks…
A Mormon and Irishman are on a plane A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if…
A joke meant to be told to someone you wanna make love to… 10% success rate. A curious rabbit escaped from the zoo and into wilderness… It went HOP HOP HOP until it spotted a cow. Rabbit: What are you? Cow: Do you really wanna know? Rabbit: Yes! Cow: Let’s have sex first. –love making–…
A man calls home. The maid answers phone. He says, “Can I speak to my wife?” She says, “No, she’s upstairs in bed with her boyfriend.” Angry he says, “Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both.” Being the loyal maid, she says, “Ok.” 5 minutes…
Doctor, I have a sexual problem. “Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore. “Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.” The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. “Take off your clothes,…