Kung Fu student asks his teacher “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated. And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the…
A policeman knocked on my door this morning… A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in…
3 drunk guys entered a taxi The driver- who knew the 3 of them were drunk, started the engine and then shut it off again after a few seconds. He then tells them, “alright guys we’re here now!” The first drunk guy gave the taxi driver money. The second drunk guy smiled then said, “thank…
A man and his family walk into a bar… Inside of the bar, the man’s youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating “World’s longest memory”. The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true. The child asks “What did you have for breakfast 30 years…
A Nazi goes to a bar… A Nazi goes to a bar, looks around, and sees an Orthodox Jew sitting at a nearby table. “Barkeep!”, he says, “A round on me for everyone but that gentleman right there.” Everyone in the bar receives a cocktail, he looks over at the Jew and notices him smiling…
Mr. Fenwood owns a cow, but has nowhere to pasture her . . . . . . So he talks to his neighbor, Mr. Potter, and cuts a deal to pasture his cow in Potter’s field for $200 per month. Months go by and the cow is happy, but Fenwood hasn’t paid Potter anything. After…
4 friends in their 20s…. Four friends in their 20s go to a new restaurant, Sands, because they’ve never been there before. 10 years later, they reunite and go back because the waitresses were so pretty. In their 40s, they decide to go again because of the amazing wine selection. Another 10 years pass and…
3 men died & went to heaven… One day, 3 men died & went to heaven. “Religion?” God’s secretary asked the first man. “Jewish,” the man replied. “Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8,” the secretary said. “Religion?” he asked the second man. “Muslim.” “Go to room…
It’s ok, a black guy told me this A little black boy, pretending to be white, covers his face in flour. He goes over to his father and says, “Daddy, Daddy! Look I’m white!” The father, with a quick smack says, “Boy! Go show yo mother” The boy runs over to his mother and exclaims,…
Little girl goes up to her father and says “Daddy talk like a frog” Dad says “get out of here, talk like a frog.” The next day again the little girl says “daddy talk like a frog.” Dad says “I told you yesterday beat it with the frog stuff.” Again on the next day she…