Here’s a Golden Oldie for You… Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan’s side. It even learned to dig for clams. One day, a man went to Juan’s house looking to hire…
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated. Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, “Mom, I know everything.” Mom shushes him and gives him $10. “Just don’t tell Dad” she says. *Hey, it’s working* thinks…
I haven’t had sex since 1956! A woman asked a general in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said “1956 ma’am.” The woman taken back by this answer said “1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better…” and the two sauntered away to a…
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep….
Barack & The Donald go to the barber… Barack Obama and Donald Trump inadvertently ended up getting a shave at the same barber shop at the same time. The barbers, wondering if things might get nasty, were nervous. Trump’s barber was almost done and was getting ready to use an after-shave as a final touch….
A husband and wife were grocery shopping … A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. “What do you think you’re doing?” asked the wife. “It’s on sale. Only $10 for a case,” he replies. “We can’t afford it. Put it…
3 clueless men Three very conservative men were sitting in a bar discussing their daughters. The first man said: “I am so disappointed in my little girl. I was going through her room the other day, and found a bottle of Vodka. I did not know she drank” The second man continued: “I know how…
A Blonde,Brunette,and a Redhead.. A Blonde,Brunette,and a Redhead decide to check their daughters bags, All 3 of them found condoms in their respective daughters bags. The Brunette was stunned and said :” We’re a catholic family, It is a sin to have premarital sex ” The Redhead said “Its Good to see my girl is…
Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home. Sure enough, I…
The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset. The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset… She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Helen: “Your…