Some Yank had the audacity to say us Texans were dumb for not having Snow Tires. Bless their heart. We may not have as much experience as y’all Yanks when it comes to snow, but after tinkering with it a couple minutes I think all of us Texans can agree to try and make a…
A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight. After the plane takes off, the cowboy asks for a whiskey and soda, which is promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asks the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replies, “I’d rather be tied up and…
Putin dies and goes to hell Putin dies and goes to hell. One day the devil allows him a day back on earth. Putin goes to a bar in Moscow. He ask the bartender “Is Crimea ours?” “yes” “Donbass?” “Thats also ours” “Kyiv?” “Ours” Putin is happy and prepares to go back to hell, he…
Asian guy walks into a bar He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it’s because you’re…
“Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “OK, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the doc soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.” “But, Doc, I’ve been screwing the maid,…
A little boy runs up to his father with a question. “Daddy, daddy!” says the boy, excitedly. “Did you get shot in the army?” The father looks away and grimaces. The pain is etched clearly on this face. He gets a faraway look in his eye, and a tear rolls down his face, as he…
Little Johnny went to the zoo with his parents. He saw an elephant and asked his mom: “Mom, what does this elephant has between its legs?” Mom blushes and says: ” Oh, that’s nothing.” Then Johnny turns to his father and asks: “Dad, what does this elephant has between its legs?” “That’s elephant’s penis” “But…
Billy’s mom comes home to see him crying… Billy, what’s wrong son? Dad hanged himself in the attic! replied Billy, “eyes in tears”. The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son. As she gets up to the attic she notices that nothing is there and little Billy started giggling……
A man is nervously pacing the hospital corridor, next to the operating room. An hour goes by, two, three… Finally, the operating room door opens, and a surgeon comes out with a mournful expression on his face. He says to the man: “I have some bad news for you. Your mother…” The man interrupts: “That’s…
Little Johnny, just past his fifth birthday, sits silently at breakfast with his mom and dad, as always—never having spoken a word. His mom sets down his bowl of oatmeal. Johnny takes a bite, then suddenly slams his spoon down and yells, “THIS OATMEAL SUCKS!” His parents freeze, absolutely stunned. His mom gasps, “Johnny! You…