I took a walk through a park and saw this woman breastfeeding her son….. ….. “Theres people here for crying out loud. Do you have to do that where everyone can see you?” “Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable to…
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000 ?”. She agreed, so they went to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, ” Aren’t you gonna bite them?”….
The Boyfriend A teenager brings home her new boyfriend to meet her parents. They’re disgusted by his haircut, tattoos & piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Honey, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.” “Oh come on Mom” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community…
A husband and wife are celebrating their 20th anniversary……. The wife is naked in front of her husband and says ” The first time you saw me naked you said you wanted to suck my tits dry and fuck my brains out. What do you think now?” The husband looks at his wife and says…
A woman goes to the doctor… and says, “Doc, I think these hormone pills you gave me are a little strong. My voice is getting deeper and I’m starting to grow some hair on my chest.” The doctor replies, “Hair on your chest huh? How far down does it go?” The woman answers, “All the…
I was cleaning one of my finger guns. I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar. Edit: thanks anonymous redditors for the awards: two silvers and a hugz! I am unworthy! Awards keep coming in. I feel like one of those North Korean generals that run out of chest space and have to start…
Genie: You have 3 wishes. Genie: You have 3 wishes. Me: I’ve seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way. Genie: I promise that won’t happen. I’m so sure it won’t I’ll give you infinite wishes if it does. Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with…
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, your brother named them for you. Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He’s…
The Naked Hippie This joke is one i came up with to annoy my wife. She hates it lol. A naked man walks into a tailor’s shop. The tailor screams at him. “Hey, get out of my store! You can’t come in here like that.” The man replies, “awww, c’mon dude….cut me some slacks.” The…
A wife yells at her husband… Wife: “How could you do this to me?!” Husband : “what did I do?” Wife: ” You slept with my sister, you bastard!” Husband : “Well, when I went to work she was lying naked on my table and you know she’s an attractive woman, what did you expect…