My girlfriend just dumped me. She said in a teary tirade: “I can’t take your shit any more. You’re so pedantic. Everything I do is wrong. I loved you so much, but it’ll never be enough for you…. …. I’m leaving now. Me and Gary are driving up north through the night and then you’ll…
Both Golf “Honey, I have a confession to make,” a guy told his bride. “I’m a golf nut. You’ll never see me on weekends during golf season. ” “Well, dear,” she murmured. “I have a confession to make too. I’m a hooker. ” “No big deal,” replied the groom. “Just keep your head down and…
I was offered Sex Today I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now…
A father at the church asked a newly wed couple to practice celibacy for a month in order to join the church. After a month they returned and made it known that they had failed The husband said that he kept strong till day 27 but then his wife dropped a cereal box and when…
Guy walks into a store… Guy walks into a store and asks the clerk, “Where’s the alcohol?” Clerk replies, “I’m sorry, this is a candy store.” Guy pleads, “Do you have any candy with alcohol in it?” Clerk walks down an aisle and returns with a bag. Guy looks at the bag and says, “This…
A woman goes to a pharmacy. “I need to buy some cyanide, I’m going to kill my husband,” she said to the pharmacist. Shocked, he replied, “That would be illegal.” “Oh?” she asked. She pulled out her phone and pulled up a picture. “This is my husband in bed with your wife,” she stated. “Oh,”…
I was in the pub last night when the barman asked me, “How come I never see you in here with Pete any more?” I asked him, “Would you drink with a bloke who’s a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything…
Two men are playing golf when one realises he’s left his jacket at the last tee He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. “What’s up?” asks his mate. “Well, you see those two women at the tee. One’s my wife, and she’s playing with my mistress.” His mate laughs and says,…
There was a married couple named Cody and Vicky. After being together for 5 years, they decided to have a baby. After numerous attempts Vicky gets pregnant. 7 months into the pregnancy they start to think about baby names. Neither of them could come to an agreement so they decided to combine their names for…
So it’s the first day of college, and the girls are finishing up orientation with the Dean of Women. “In conclusion, ladies, if you get pregnant, you’ll likely have to drop out and miss out on many of your dreams. Think about it: is that one hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of commitment?” “Now,”…