How tall is a penguin? A man rushes into a bar and screams at the bartender, “How tall is a penguin?” The bartender looks at him weirdly and says, “Excuse me?” The man repeats, “How tall is a penguin?” The bartender motions with his hands. “Uh, about this high.” The color drains from the man’s…
A nun is having a bath when she hears a knock at the door…. “Who is it?” she calls out. “It’s the blind man,” comes the reply. She panics for a moment, horrified at the thought of anyone seeing her naked but then realises that, being blind, there’s no risk at all. “Alright,” she says….
A door to door salesman… A door to door salesman was making his rounds. he stops at one house and knocks on the door. a little boy of about eight opens the door, cigarette in one hand, bottle of beer in the other. “oh,” says the salesman, “little boy, is your mummy home?” the boy…
A waitress spots a dejected looking man staring at the menu… Concerned, she approaches and asks if she can help. Man: I’d like to order my late wife’s usual meal but I can’t remember it… Waitress: I’m so sorry! Could you describe it to me? I’m sure we can figure out what her favorite was….
Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey? A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?” The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!” The child…
A pregnant woman falls into a coma A pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby. Doctor: Don’t worry. You had two baby boys and your husband named them for you. Woman: Oh no, not my husband; He’s a knucklehead! What did he name…
A man has a £50 note tattooed on his willy His wife says to him “Why have you done that!?” He replies “For one, I like to see my money grow; two, I like to play with my money; thrid, I like to have money in my hand and finally the next time you want…
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos and his piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.” “Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he…
The story of the naked woman A fully naked woman enters a taxi. The driver looks at her from top to bottom several times. The woman asked: Haven’t you seen a naked woman before?! Taxi driver replies: I didn’t look at you because you are naked. I’m concerned because I look and I look but…
A man runs home from work The second he gets home he finds his wife of 20 years, takes her into the bedroom and throws her on the bed, and pulled some blankets over them. The wife was shocked, he hadn’t been this way since they were young! Then the man then turns to her…