Two men are playing golf when one realizes he’s left his jacket at the last tee He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. “What’s up?” asks his mate. “Well, you see those two women at the tee. One’s my wife, and she’s playing with my mistress.” His mate laughs and says,…
Early pregnancy A sexy young woman, out of breath, boarded a bus with no vacant seats. She asked a man, “Sir, can I have your place, I’m pregnant.” The man willingly relinquished his seat, but then commented, “You are very pretty, but you sure don’t look like you’re pregnant.” “Well,” said the woman, “that’s because…
Man says to his new bride…. After the honeymoon, the new wife told her husband, “I think it’s time for you to stop playing golf. In fact, you might as well sell all of your clubs.” The husband replied, “You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife.” His wife looked at him crossly and said, “I…
How to find your wife… A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.” “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The woman looked puzzled. “Why talk to me?” she asked. The man replies”Because every time I talk to a…
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” Stunned, the woman sits down and complains to the man next to her. “I can’t believe that rude driver! He was so insulting to me! I have half I mind to tell him off!” The man…
iBoob Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women’s breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their…
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, but are told only one can get into the pearly gates. St. Peter asks Queen Elizabeth what makes her special enough to enter Heaven. Elizabeth takes out a douche bottle and douches herself. St. Peter asks Dolly what makes her special enough to get into…
My dyslexic blonde girlfriend just said “How do we know which of the other 49 states are real?” I said: “What? They’re all real” She said: “No they’re not, we only know for certain that one is real, no one’s certain about the other ones. Just like the saying goes” *Now very confused* I reply:…
A blonde colors her hair red and moves countryside She meets a farmer and challenges him: “If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free.” The farmer agrees. The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet. As she’s stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the…
The indicted serial killer was asked to stand. “You are charged with murdering a young schoolteacher with a chain saw,” the judge intoned. “Lying bastard!” a man shouted from the gallery. The judge fixed the unruly fellow with a Stern stare, but continued. “You are also charged with murdering a housewife with a shovel. “Damn…