A housewife buys a parrot from a pet store At the counter, the cashier warns her that the parrot used to live in a brothel and picked up a lot of the language they used. She takes the parrot back to her house and puts him in a cage. The bird looks around and says…
An Irish housewife is at home, being a homemaker, while her husband is away working at the Guinness factory When she hears a knock on the door. Upon answering the door, she sees it is two of her husband’s friends and co-workers. “Mary,” says the first co-worker, “I’m afraid we have some terrible news. You…
An Irish housewife is at home while her husband is away working at the Guinness factory when she hears a knock on the door. Upon answering the door, she sees one of her husband’s friends and co-workers standing on the front porch. “Mary,” says the man, “I’m afraid I have some terrible news. You see,…
Pancakes A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she’s worried about her 5 year old son’s small penis. He said her problem is solved. “You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime”. The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast as per…
A housewife tells the maid. – Callie, you are fired! – Why, Miss Lucy? – Because your work is getting worse! The little you do is very poorly done! Now, take your money and get out of here! The maid took the money, thanked the housewife and, before going out, took a 10 dollar bill…
A housewife calls a handyman so that he can fix her closet door… She explains that every time the bus passes the closet door slides open. A bus passes and the door slides open, the handyman says: “You know what I better get in there to see whats going on.” He gets in the closet…
Husband’s night out An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume. “I assume,” she said with her most acidic sarcasm, “That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o’clock in the morning with booze on your breath and…
The Wife and The Landlord “That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told a neighbor. “You didn’t do it, did you?” “I have to admit I did — though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven’t done, though,…
The indicted serial killer was asked to stand. “You are charged with murdering a young schoolteacher with a chain saw,” the judge intoned. “Lying bastard!” a man shouted from the gallery. The judge fixed the unruly fellow with a Stern stare, but continued. “You are also charged with murdering a housewife with a shovel. “Damn…
A middle-aged housewife decides to donate her old clothes to charity Wife: “I’ve gathered up some old clothes and I need you to drop them off at the church charity.” Husband: *Groaning* ” Why not just throw them out? It’s easier that way.” Wife: “Because there are people out there who are poor and starving…