A lady calls her butler into her room and says, “Jeeves, take off my dress” He casually says, “Yes, Madam”, and removes the dress. Then she says, “Jeeves, take off my underwear”. Again, he says, “Yes, Madam” and removes the undergarment. She then says, “Jeeves, take off my bra”. Again, with no hesitation he says,…
A Christian couple Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?” Wife looks confused: “But that’s your task, honey.” “What? Why?” “It’s all over the Bible, dearest.” “The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!” The wife grabs hold of…
A deaf couple gets married On the night of the honeymoon the wife signs “since we can’t see what the other is signing after the lights go out, if you’d like to make love any night grab my right breast. If not, grab my left.” The husband signs back “Great idea. If *you’d* like to…
A white guy gets “Wendy” tattooed on his dick. It only shows “Wy” when flaccid. He goes on vacation to Jamaica. In the bathroom peeing, he glances over at a Jamaican guy next to him and sees “Wy” tattooed on his dick too. He says, What a coincidence! Is your wife named Wendy too? The…
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve The Englishman admires it and says “Look at them, calm, reserved, and proper, they were surely English.” The Frenchmen laughs and replies “They are naked and beautiful, there is no doubt they would be French.” The Russian slowly shakes…
Easy way to search your wife. A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.” “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The woman looked puzzled. “Why talk to me?” she asked. “Because every time I talk to a woman…
Two priests are out driving one day.. when they get pulled over by a police officer. The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver “Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters” The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have…
Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I’m still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife. We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend’s yacht. Then we’ll…
A group of engineering students and their professor were given free airline tickets to go on a holiday… Once they boarded the plane, the captain announced that they would be flying on a plane that the students had built. Every one of the students panicked and left the plane, except for the professor. When the…
The actor returns home The actor had a way of embellishing everything he said with superfluous phases. When he returned to his house to meet with his wife, he was met by the maid, and asked, “Oh sweet lady, where perhaps can I find my best friend and severest critic?” “Well,” said the maid, “your…