God bless you son 5 year old son after reading story of a king. Son:Mom, I also want 5 wives..one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me……. Mom:….And one will put you to sleep Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you Mom’s eyes filled up with tears … God bless you son…
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by Then he spoke:“Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses.“Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center.“Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours.“To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.” The nurse…
Johnny paid his way through college by waitering in a restaurant. “What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer. “Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.” “Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, here’s twenty…
18 inch harry.. A first-time John went to a whorehouse. He entered a private room, put $50 on the table and dropped his pants. At the sight of the man’s 18-inch penis, the hooker almost fainted. “Hold on, pal,” she said. “I’ll lick it, I’ll suck it, but you are not sticking that in me.”…
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going…
So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink. The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. “Why’d ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? You got shit all over…
Don’t drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell. Priest – Don’t drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell. Alcoholic – Is it? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest – He will also go to Hell. Alcoholic – Ok, what about the guy who sells pork tacos in the…
I recently attended a funeral And the procession was going up a steep hill on Main Street. Well all of a sudden the door of the hearst flew open and the coffin fell out. Since the road was so steep it flew back down Main street and into a pharmacy where it crashed into the…
A chemist walks into his pharmacy A chemist walks into his pharmacy and sees a man standing in the corner with his hand on his stomach. He asks his assistant what happened. “the man came in with a cough but since we were out of cough syrup I gave him a laxative” his assistant says….
Olympic Condoms. (NSFW) A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said “Olympic Condoms”. He bought it, and told his wife about it. ” – Olympic Condoms? What’s so special about them?” ” – They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.” ” – And what color are you…