The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss the matter. Dad: “This is unacceptable, I don’t use the home phone, I use my work phone.” Mom: “Me too, I use my company phone. I hardly use the home phone.” Son: “I use my office mobile. I never use the home…
A man on a business trip went out for breakfast When the waitress came to his booth, she asked “What can we get you?” The man paused and said “I’ll tell you what- I’d like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you…
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she…
A little boy walks in on his parents having sex. “Mommy, why are you on top of Daddy?” he says. The mom thinks fast and says “Well, your daddy has a big belly, so sometimes I get on top of him and try to flatten it out.” The boy says “well that will never work.”…
Operation successful An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting a complicated surgery on him and….. he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he spoke to his son-in-law. ‘Yes, Dad, what is it?’ ‘Don’t be nervous son; do your best and just…
A jew in his deathbed… A jew in his deathbed is surrounded by his family. He asks if the wife is there; she was. He asks if his son was there; he was. He asked if his daughter was there, and she was. As he finds out everyone’s there, he has a heart attack. His…
Prescription A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks “What for? “She says “I want to kill my husband “. He says “Sorry, I can’t do that. “She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife and…
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” “Eight” the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?” The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they…
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter… The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” “Eight.” the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know how these are used?” The boy replied, “Not exactly, but…
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I’m off to New York. I read that prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free.” Later, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and…