Slow down love 2 pilots are about to touchdown at the Melbourne Airport. They start talking about what they are going to do after they land not knowing that they left the microphone on for everyone to hear. one of them says im gonna have a beer, take a shit and bang one of the…
Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won’t move at all… After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out…
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were…
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl. They had great seats right behind the Chiefs’ bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each…
Terrifying Story A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The…
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks: “Tim, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so…
Probably one for British people A man and his wife were on their honeymoon and about to do the deed. The wife stops the husband unexpectedly. “Darling,” she says. “I am afraid I have a dark secret to tell you, and I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” “Sweetheart, no matter what you have done…
A story about my first time The sky was dark The moon was high All alone just she and I. Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what she wanted to do. Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers down her spine. I didn’t know how…
A Seventh Grade Health Class was learning about pregnancy. Young Suzy asks her teacher, “Can my grandma get pregnant?” Her teacher replies that no, she can’t, shes far too old. Suzy then asks if her fifty year old mother could get pregnant. Her teacher tells her no, shes a little too old for that. Suzy,…
The Morning Commute (Adapted Chinese Joke) Two guys carpooling to work approach a stop light while a hot, young girl driving a Porsche pulls up next to them. The passenger says to the driver, “I bet she’s the Mistress. At least she doesn’t have to work.” The woman overhearing the passenger screams back, “Asshole! If…