Little Johnny’s parents decided to have sex. So to get him out of the house they tell him to go to the balcony and count the number of red cars on the road, Johnny says sure and goes out. After they’ve finished having sex they call him inside and ask him ” So how many…
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land…. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. An undertaker told them “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.” The man thought about it and told him he…
Cop understood the assignment. I got pulled over for speeding today. Before the officer could even say a word, I pleaded, “Please, let me explain. The woman in the back seat is my mother-in-law. She’s been living with us for the past three months, and today she finally decided to return to her own house….
An American man visits the Holy Land… An American man visits the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Sadly the mother-in-law died. When seeing the local Israeli undertaker, it was explained that they could ship the body home for $5,000. But if they buried her locally it would cost only $150. The man said…
A little boy… wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you’re bouncing up and down on him.” His mom…
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel… and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died…
A midwife calls a doctor “Doctor she’s been in labor for 36 hours we need to do a c section.” “Not so fast,” says the doctor “there’s one more thing to try” He goes to the obviously pained mother to be and says “what do you call maids in space.” After the woman gives him…
A woman was asked for a pay raise by her maid Woman: Why do you want a raise? Maid: There are 3 reasons why I want a raise. The first one is that I iron better than you. Woman: Bullshit! Who said that you iron better than me? Maid: Your husband said so. Woman: Oh……
So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, “caution, I’m a maneater”. I walked up to the girl and timidly said, “excuse me, Miss… about your shirt” She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; “Oh let me guess, you’re here to make a…
Italian Men Talk Two Italian men are having a loud conversation on a plane. One of them, with many gesticulations, tells his friend, “Emma come first, I come next, then two assa come together, I come again, two assa come together again, I come once again, pee pee twice, then I come one last time.”…