A Worker’s Prayer Our boss, who art a heathen, Broken be thy name. Thy receiver come, thy ruin be done, From Perth as far as Devon. Give us till then our daily wage And forgive us our strikes As we forgive those who blackleg against us. For thine is the Greek island, The Rolls and…
A wife asks her husband, a software engineer… “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!” A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, “Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”…
My wife was dying… I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, “There’s something I must confess..” “Shhh.” I said, “There’s nothing to confess, everything’s alright.” “No, I must die in peace… I had sex with your brother, your best friend, his best friend, and your father.” “I know.” I whispered, “That’s…
Little Johnny, just past his fifth birthday, sits silently at breakfast with his mom and dad, as always—never having spoken a word. His mom sets down his bowl of oatmeal. Johnny takes a bite, then suddenly slams his spoon down and yells, “THIS OATMEAL SUCKS!” His parents freeze, absolutely stunned. His mom gasps, “Johnny! You…
A man is nervously pacing the hospital corridor, next to the operating room. An hour goes by, two, three… Finally, the operating room door opens, and a surgeon comes out with a mournful expression on his face. He says to the man: “I have some bad news for you. Your mother…” The man interrupts: “That’s…
Billy’s mom comes home to see him crying… Billy, what’s wrong son? Dad hanged himself in the attic! replied Billy, “eyes in tears”. The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son. As she gets up to the attic she notices that nothing is there and little Billy started giggling……
Little Johnny went to the zoo with his parents. He saw an elephant and asked his mom: “Mom, what does this elephant has between its legs?” Mom blushes and says: ” Oh, that’s nothing.” Then Johnny turns to his father and asks: “Dad, what does this elephant has between its legs?” “That’s elephant’s penis” “But…
A little boy runs up to his father with a question. “Daddy, daddy!” says the boy, excitedly. “Did you get shot in the army?” The father looks away and grimaces. The pain is etched clearly on this face. He gets a faraway look in his eye, and a tear rolls down his face, as he…
“Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “OK, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the doc soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.” “But, Doc, I’ve been screwing the maid,…
Asian guy walks into a bar He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it’s because you’re…