Man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks “what are you doing?”… She says, “I’m off to New York. I read that prostitutes can make $500 for doing what I do with you for free”. As the wife is getting to leave, she walks by the bedroom and sees…
A Little Christmas Joke This guy Joe arrives to pick up his fiancée for a date in a new Porsche. His fiancée is confused because Joe isn’t exactly a wealthy guy. She says, “Where did you get this Porsche?“ Joe says, “It was in my garage.“ She says, “What was it doing in your garage?“…
So I went in to get my vasectomy… So I went in to get my vasectomy, feeling a bit anxious about the procedure. The nurse, trying to ease my nerves, assured me that she’d sterilized everything and it would all be over soon. Just as I was starting to relax, the doctor walked in with…
A student receives a bad grade on his exam And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he’s been graded unfairly. He says to the teacher “I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren’t entirely correct!” The teacher sighs and says “ok, I’ll take another look at…
A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl.. After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage.. After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie.. “It’s simple” billionaire boasts… “I faked my age” “Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old…
My girlfriend is a porn star! She’s going to be really mad when she finds out. EDIT: Will people stop asking me to post the source or a picture, this is a joke that it is why it is here instead of in mildlyinterestng. The truth is my girlfriend tried to be a porn star…
Blowjobs do not relieve headaches The other day, I had an astoundingly painful headache and I couldn’t help but complain about it to my girlfriend. She surprised me by saying, “Ya know, blowjobs can be a natural cure for a headache…” So, I thought it was worth a shot. But that day I learned my…
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker offered two options: ship her home for $5,000 or bury her locally for $150. The man chose to ship her home. When asked why he’d spend so much to send her…
a joke we tell in Ukraine A russian, a Ukrainian and an African American guys are sitting in the waiting room while their wives give birth. The nurse comes out with 3 babies and says “sorry guys, they’ve got mixed up..let’s see whose is whose”. The Ukrainian takes a black kid and runs. They yell…
A teacher in Ireland is giving an English lesson and asks the class for examples of when they have heard the word “contagious” being used… One eager child says, “Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious!” “Very good!” replied the teacher. “Has anybody else got an example?” “My…