While wandering in the desert I came across a lamp When I rubbed it a Genie popped out. Genie: You have released me from my prison, in return I shall grant you three wishes. Me: I’ve seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way won’t it? Genie:…
A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane. A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon…
Maid wanted a salary raise… Madam wanted 3 reasons why the maid thought she deserved a raise Maid: I can cook better than you. Madam: Who told you that? Maid: Your husband told me! Madam: Ok, second reason. Maid: I can iron better than you. Madam: Who told you that? Maid: Your husband told me!…
A maid wanted a salary raise Madam wanted 3 reasons why the maid thought she deserved a raise Maid: I can cook better than you. Madam: Who told you that? Maid: Your husband told me! Madam: Ok, second reason. Maid: I can iron better than you. Madam: Who told you that? Maid: Your husband told…
A very heavy blond went to the clinic to lose weight. The doctor told her to eat what she normally ate for three days and then skip a day. He told her she would have lost at least 4 pounds till the next month. She came back four weeks later, 30 pounds lighter! The doctor…
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker’s coffee, and the third wolfed down…
AITA for telling daddy I saw mummy kissing another man? Last night, I (7m) couldn’t sleep so I went downstairs. I saw mummy (38f) kissing a strange man. I ran upstairs to tell daddy (41m) but he wasn’t in his bedroom. I went back to bed crying. In the morning, mummy woke me up saying,…
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s…
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do…
Three men were in a hospital An Englishman, a French, and a Congolese were expecting to receive their babies from the ward. The doctor comes out with three nurses; each carting a baby. “Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some bad news…” says the doctor, “there was a mix-up and I’m afraid we cannot determine which…