I had to get blood drawn recently… …and I explained to the phlebotomist that I am deeply bothered by IV’s and blood drawing generally, and may need to sit for a minute after she was finished with the vials. As most phlebotomists I have seen in my life do, she mentioned that it was surprising…
A man goes on Holiday in Madrid After exploring the Spanish country he decides to get a tattoo, and gets a bull on his arm. A few days later, he is on a tour with a guide, when the guide says “hey, that looks swollen,” The man replies “really?! Do you know anywhere I can…
A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden “Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit.”They must be British” They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement. “Nonsense,” says the Frenchman. “They’re naked…
Three drunk men were heading home from a bar. Three drunk men were heading home from a bar. They hailed a taxi. The taxi driver, realizing they were all wasted, came up with a trick. He let them all get in the backseat, started the engine, waited five seconds, then turned it off and said,…
A preacher and a taxi driver were waiting to get into Heaven The taxi driver walked up to St. Peter, who gave him a golden staff and let him into Heaven. The preacher walked up to St. Peter, who gave him a wooden staff. The preacher asked “I was a preacher. Why does a taxi…
Jewish guy runs home from work, panting and trying to catch his breath. He plops down at the kitchen table, where his wife was cooking dinner. Wife asks, “What happened Motek? Why are you so exhausted?” Guy says with a huge smile, “Chooki, instead of taking the bus home from work today, I ran all…
Theory vs. Reality A son asks his father what the difference between theory and reality is. The father says go ask your mother if she would sleep with the neighbor for 1 million dollars, then go ask your sister the same question and tell me what they say. The son returns and says, “they both…
A child asked her mom “how did I come to this world?” The mom, misty eyed answered, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves,…
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. “Can I help you?” she asks….
An Irish man frees a genie and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes. The Irishman thinks about it, and says “I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty.” So *poof* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks…