Where are we? Not mine: Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. “Before we order, could you please settle…
A Blonde soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. Her orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?” The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General…
A flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple onboard so she reports it to the Captain immediately. “Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, graceful and rich looking female passenger onboard. She looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, old, redhead slob…
A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar… A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely young. I can’t serve you even a single beer.” “Oh c’mon. You can’t just slide me one?” “Can’t and will not serve…
God created the first Swiss and asked him: “What do you want?” “Mountains,” replied the Swiss. God created mountains for the Swiss and asked him, “What else do you want?” “Cows,” said the Swiss. God created cows for the Swiss. The Swiss milked the cows, tasted the milk and asked, “Will you taste, dear God?”…
The maid asked for a raise [Long] The maid asked for a raise. The woman asked her why. Maid : “For three reasons. Number 1, I iron clothes better than you.” Woman : “Who said that?” Maid : “Your husband said that” Woman : “Oh” Maid : “Secondly, I cook better than you” Woman :…
A woman is walking home with her 3 daughters. The eldest daughter turns to her mother and asks “How did I get my name mummy?” “Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal fell on your head! So that’s why we named you Rose.” The second daughter, now curious,…
Whats for Dinner A man kills a Deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his Wife, decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on…
The boss was busy and did not want to be disturbed. ​ He told his secretary to tell visitors he didn’t want to be disturbed. If they persisted with some story about how important it was, she should tell them “That’s what they all say.” Later that day, the boss’ wife stopped by to visit…
A 10 year old girl asked her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?” The mother smiled and replied, “Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while, the seed started to…