I was running late after playing a round of golf, so I left my clubs with my friend, stuffed a bunch of the balls in my pants pockets and got on a bus… I sat down next to a beautiful blonde and she kept looking at me and my bulging pockets. Finally, after many puzzled…
A man returns home to find his wife smiling mischievously. Wife: “Honey, can you take something out of the oven for me please?” The husband opens the oven and finds a baking tray with a piece of paper on it. The paper reads: “What did the woman say when she got her pregnancy results? You’ve…
A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies… “Have you tried condoms?” Asks the Dr. “I did, and it resulted in 3 kids!” said the man. “Have you tried birth control?” “I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!” “Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?”…
There is a husband and a wife that, over their marriage, have eight kids. One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven. The husband goes to his wife and asks her, “Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an…
A woman goes to the pharmacist and asks for five kilos of arsenic. The chemist says, “That’s very dangerous, what do you want it for?” Wife replies, “I’m giving it to my husband. He had an affair” Chemist says, “Oh no, I could get in a lot of trouble for giving you that” Wife goes…
A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl… After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage… After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie.. “It’s simple” billionaire boasts… “I faked my age” “Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old…
One day, a taxi cab passenger touched… a new cab driver on his shoulder to ask him something. The driver squealed “EEEEEEEEEE!”, lost control of car, and screeched to a stop after mounting the sidewalk. The passenger apologised profusely & said: “I had no idea you would be startled by me tapping your shoulder!” Driver…
Who is the greatest? A BOOB, a VAGINA and an ASSHOLE are debating as to who is the greatest of them all BOOB: I give milk to new born babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest VAGINA: that’s nothing. I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite…
A Boeing 737 Max flight attendant walks into a bar and orders a martini . “You’re here later than usual,” the bartender comments. “Problems at work?” “Yes, just as our flight was about to take off we had to turn around and wait at the gate for an hour.” “What was the problem?” the bartender…
Three nuns are gossiping about a priest. The first nun said, “I was going through father’s desk and found pornographic magazines in his drawer.” The second nun gasped and asked, “What did you do with them?” “I burned them.” The second nun then said, “I was going through father’s drawers and found a box of…