Barbie One day, a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, “How much is the Barbie on display in the front window?” The salesperson answers, “Which one? We have Work-Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie…
Two blokes are out playing golf Jim and Dave are playing golf one day when they come to the 8th hole there are two women teeing off. Jim turns to Dave and says “go ask if we can play through” Dave takes off towards the two women but only makes it about ten paces before…
Welcome to Jamaica A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married they…
A man appears before Gabriel at the pearly gates. **”Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” Gabriel asks.** **”Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman.**…
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, Why in the world do you need cyanide? The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill…
A blonde orders a beer A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this…
Here is a joke that made my 7 year old twins laugh like hyenas. On a flight, the passengers suddenly hear: “Here is your pilot. Today is my 10.000th flight. I would like to do something special. Would you like to experience a loop? Then applaud.” The excited passengers applaud. The pilot says, “ok, fasten…
An anti-semite goes to a bar An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn’t like it. “Bartender!” he says, nodding at the Jew, “A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!” Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch. The [anti-semite!](http://www.afterfeed.com/story/detail/13350/14-epic-jokes-by-chandler-bing-from-friends-that-will-make-hole-in-your-belly) looks over…
A teacher asks her students to use the word fascinate in a sentence. First she calls on Sussy. “My dad and I went to the movies and we were fascinated!” Sussy says. “Well that’s pretty good, but I wanted you to use fascinate not fascinated.” So she calls on Mary next. “My family went to…