3 drunk guys enterd a taxi The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking…
My wife and I went on our honeymoon to Australia… Unfortunately, I had to dial the help line. “G’day this is Tim, you’ve reached the Aussie help line. How can we help ya mate?” I told him, “We were in the ocean and my wife was stung by a jellyfish on her lady parts. Her…
A pet store owner walks into a brothel The head mistress greets the new guest: “And how can we help you today?” The pet store owner asks “Do you have a parrot I could buy?” The confused head mistress responds “Don’t you own a pet store? And don’t you already have some nice parrots, why…
After 3 years, the wife starts to think… …that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents. Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you Husband: What’s up? Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not…
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth. After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: “Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse’s error…
I just successfully pulled-off the ‘key to comedy’ joke around my surgery. As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, ‘I have a joke’. ‘Better be quick!’ The anaesthetist said. ‘Do you know what the key to comedy is?’ Then I smiled and passed out. When I woke up a couple of…
My wife’s contractions were getting closer so we dashed off to the hospital. After getting checked in, the obstetrician came into the room, examined my wife, wrote “Annie” on her chart and left the room. We were obviously confused and asked the nurse what it meant. She said “This means you can go home —…
Best son ever 5 year old son after reading a story of a king Son : mom, I also want 3 wives, one will bathe , one will cook and one will sing Mom : which one will put you to sleep? Son: no mom, I will still sleep with you. Mom’s eyes filled up…
An Irish man frees a genie and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes. The Irishman thinks about it, and says “I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty.” So *poof* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks…
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. “Can I help you?” she asks….