At breakfast, a husband says to his wife, “I want to try doggy tonight.” Surprisingly enough, the wife agrees. So that night, both quite excited, the husband cooks his wife a lovely dinner. After enjoying the meal they head upstairs and get into bed. The husband leans over to his wife, kisses her on the…
For an old man’s 98th birthday, his 3 grandsons paid for a hooker and sent her to his home. When the old fella opened the door he asked what a pretty girl like her was doing at his home. She replied “I was sent here as a gift to you” The old man asked “What…
An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling “EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!” The patrons and staff, terrified, comply. He’s loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his…
The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: “Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?” “Well, honey,” the mother says, “it’s because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head.” Satisfied, the child goes away. Later, the middle child tugs at her mother’s hand. “Mommy, mommy, why…
Teacher makes a call to her student to inform: “I’m busy tomorrow, so our class will be off” The student makes a call to his dad immediately: “I’m off tomorrow lets go to picnic!” The dad makes a call to his secretary immediately: ” I’m busy tomorrow, lets postpone our date to the next day!”…
Donald Trump and Mike Pence were having breakfast at the White House The waitress asks Pence what he would like, and he replies, “I’d like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit.” “And what can I get for you, Mr. President?” Trump replies with his trademark lecherous leer, “How about a quickie this morning?” “Mr….
A nun was sitting in the bath…. ….when there was a knock on the door. Oh no, she thought. I can’t let anyone in here while I’m taking a bath. “Who is it?” she called out in trepidation. “It’s the blind man,” came the reply. Well, I suppose if it’s a blind man there’s no…
A rich man came home and immediately started shouting at his wife. “I’ve been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!” “Different how?” his wife asked. “Well, for starters, if you learned how to…
Italian guy on a bus Sitting on a bus in New York, a prim old lady was shocked to overhear an Italian say to another, “Emma come-a first. I come-a next. Two ass-a come-a together. I come-a again. Two ass-a come-a together again. I come-a once more. Peepee twice. Then I come-a for the last…
A blonde woman called her brunette friend. “I’m doing a jigsaw puzzle at my apartment, but it’s way too hard for me!” “What’s the jigsaw supposed to be?” asks the brunette. “According to the box,” says the blonde, “it’s supposed to be a rooster.” When the brunette arrives at the blonde’s apartment, she looks at…