A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people. He’s wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering “Turkish got 3 problems.” Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say “Hey, yopu know what you’re wearing is insulting?” The russian responds: “This is your first problem: You’re so easily offended.” The Turkish respond: “Okay,…
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat.. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.” The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels, and orders a fine Pilsner beer. The bowl of pretzels then says “Ooooh, a pilsner, great…
Drinks! A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped…
A plane is about to crash… An airplane has a tragic engine malfunction and they captain tells everyone to brace themselves because they are going to crash in the middle of the desert. A female flight attendant decides she wants to die feeling like a woman. She stands up and removes all her clothes. Naked,…
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and…
Three drunks and a taxi driver 3 drunk guys entered a taxi . The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped…
A Japanese businessman hails a taxi… As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by. “Oooh,” exclaims the businessman, “that’s a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!” Moments later, another car speeds ahead. “Ahhhhh,” exclaims the businessman again, “a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!” Then once more, another car rushes…
A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death. He summoned the astrologer and gave him this command: “Prophet, tell me when you will…
A dominatrix walks down the hallway of her brothel… …into one of the many rooms. Inside, there’s a man blindfolded, handcuffed, and chained to the floor. She walks up and slaps him as hard as she can and says, “Who’s my little bitch?” The man screams and yells, “What the fuck are doing?” The mistress…
Two guys are playing golf. Two women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up. One man says to his friend, “I’m gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.” ​ He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his…