3 dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. “First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner. “Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand…
A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They’re going at it for a minute when…
A big muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store… ..and asks, “W-w-w-what’s y-y-your L-l-lay a-a-away p-p-policy?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w whats y-y-your L-l-lay a-a-away p-p-policy?” Again, the clerk doesnt answer him. The guy asks several…
Good Mother in Law A daughter was talking to her mom about married life, she told her mom that she wanted to divorce her husband because he liked anal sex. She told her mom that when she married her husband her asshole was the size of a dime and now it was the size of…
So a woman had been in a coma for a few years. . . And everyday, when the nurse comes in to bathe her, she notices slight changes in her vital stats whenever she washes near her crotch. So the nurse fetches the woman’s husband and says, “I think a little oral sex is all…
Daddy’s nickname A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, “Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.” The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave…
Twice a Day This guy goes to his doctor “You gotta help me. I can’t stop having sex.” “How often do you have it?” The doc asks “Well, twice a day with my wife.” The doc says “That’s no to bad.” The guy says “Yeah, but that’s not all, I also have sex with my…
10 engineering professors board a plane Once they are inside and the plane is a about to take off, the air hostess comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been made by the students of those teachers. Immediately 9 of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of…
A Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer are playing golf….. An engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are…
Cheaper Pub in the World Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint; “That will be $0.05 please sir”. “Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too” “Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir”. “Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps”. “0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together”….