Three dumb guys are in a bar talking about their cheating wives… First guy says, “I’m sure my wife is having an affair with a plumber. Yesterday when I came home I found a lot of plumbing equipment under our bed that don’t belong to me.” Second guy says, “I’m sure my wife is having…
Two women were walking home from a night out… When they both decided they needed to take a piss , so they quickly hopped over a wall into a cemetery and did their business. A few days later the husbands of these two women were at the pub, when one said to the other “i…
She has been shot (up). Guy: Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection, and the rubber never broke. How is it possible? Doctor: Let me tell you a story: “There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his…
A man gets a call from his mistress while he’s at work The mistress tells him, “come over tonight, and bring that thing I like” That night he gets to his mistress’ house, and they get right into it. Eventually she takes him to the bedroom, and crawls on the bed on her hands and…
My ten year old daughter told this one… A girl and a boy are locked out of their house. They can’t find any way in, so the girl leans forward and starts talking to the door lock… “Hey door lock you’re looking nice today, why don’t you go ahead and let us in.” The door…
So a deaf mute guy wants to buy a condom A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter and puts down a five dollar bill next to…
A reporter asks a billionaire how he earned he wealth Here’s the billionaire’s response: A long time ago, I had absolutely nothing but a penny. So I took that penny and bought a pencil from the corner store. Sold it to my classmate for two cents. Then I bought two pencils, sold them for four…
Trump & Obama are in a barber shop… Getting fresh cuts and shaves. They’re sitting right next to each other. Everyone is on edge; nobody is saying a word. Trump’s shave finishes first and the barber asks if he wants aftershave. Trump smells it and says “No way! That stuff smells like a whorehouse! I…
A man is walking to his car late at night When he sees a woman on a shady corner. He goes up to ask if she’s alright and she responds “I’m a hooker, are you interested?” The man decides to live a little and takes her up on her offer and they go back to…
A body builder takes off his shirt. A blonde says, “Wow, what a great chest you have!” He says, “100lbs of dynamite, babe!” He takes off his pants and the blonde says “What massive calves you have!” He replies, “That’s 100lbs of dynamite, babe!” He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming…