A lawyer was walking down the street… When he spotted a woman with spectacular breasts. He immediately offered her $100 if she would let him bite them. “No way!” She exclaimed “What about for $1000?” He persisted “No certainly not what kind of woman do you think I am?” “You wouldn’t even do it for…
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast…
A blonde goes to a bar and orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman’s breasts and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her breasts. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this…
Pregnancy Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels. His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital. Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?” The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax,…
A young man finds the perfect girl from his small village for marriage He asks his father for his blessings, but the father tells him that he was screwing around in his youth, and that the girl he wants to marry is in fact his sister. The young man devastated but still wanting to get…
A completely smashed guy in a torn shirt with lipstick marks all over his face and empty bottle sticking out of his pocket stumbles into a bus and plops down right next to a priest. He pulls out his smartphone, scrolls for a bit, then turns to the priest and asks: “Father, do you happen…
Back in the USSR In the days of state control, a Russian man saved and saved and saved until he finally had enough money to buy a car. He took the bus to the state car agency to arrange the purchase. After an hour of filling in paperwork, he handed over the money and asked…
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter walks up to a counter in a department store. A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter walks up to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The…
It’s the first day of the parapsychology class. The professor asks, “How many of you believe in ghosts?” All of the hands go up. “And how many of you have ever seen a ghost?” About 90% of the hands go up. “And how many of you have ever touched a ghost?” About 20% of the…
Four men are in the hospital waiting room! Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second…