Kinda of a shitty joke but…… Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax…
A Cowboy Walks Into a Saloon, Naked . . . . . . except for his boots. “Where your clothes at, Slim?” “Back at the barn. I was feeding the horses when a beautiful blonde drove up. She says, ‘I wanna show you something in the barn. Follow me.’ So I followed her. She says,…
Little Johnny Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying he was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and asked for his mother to have a talk with him. So his mother takes him quietly by the hand, upstairs to the bedroom. “First, Johnny, I want you…
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.” The second Catholic women chirps, “Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Grace.”…
A father buys a lie detector A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, “I did some schoolwork.” The robot slaps the son. The son says, “Ok,…
A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. “Hey, show us…
Two men are sitting next to each other on an airplane… One man is visibly flustered. The other man leans over and asks, “Hey, is there something wrong?” The other man replies, “Well, I’m a bit embarassed. When I was purchasing my ticket this morning, the ticket girl had the most wonderful pair of breasts….
Would you rather have a mistress or a wife? A doctor, a lawyer, and a scientist were asked if they would rather have a mistress or a wife. The doctor says I would rather have a wife so that I have someone to go home to after a long day at the hospital. The lawyer…
A doctor, a lawyer, and a biologist are discussing the costs and benefits of having an affair. The doctor says no one should ever have an affair. It creates too much anxiety and it’s bad for your health. The lawyer says it’s OK to have an affair as long as you don’t tell your wife….
Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two…