A teenage girl brings home her boyfriend to meet her parents Her parents are disgusted by the boyfriend’s crazy haircut, excessive tattoos and piercings. After dinner, the girl’s mom tells her, “Honey, he doesn’t seem to be a nice boy. Are you sure about this?” “Oh please mom.” the girl begged. “If he wasn’t a…
My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, “Theres something I must confess.” “Shhh” I said, “theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright.” “No I must die in peace. I had sex with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father.” “I know,” I whispered, “Thats…
A little boy goes up to his pregnant mum, points at her fat belly and says, what’s that? She says… (a bit startled…) erm… that’s a baby your daddy gave me that… So the little boy walks off to find his dad with a confused look on his face… “daddy did you give mummy a…
A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.” The blonde continued to look at him for…
A Feminist Talked to me About the Dwayne Johnson Rule The rule, as she explained it, was that in order to determine if a particular comment was appropriate to say to a woman, first ask yourself, ‘Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?’ If not, don’t say it. I thought this sounded like…
2 men at an airport. 2 men at an airport. 1st man says, “I can’t find my wife.” 2nd man says, “I can’t find mine either, what does yours look like?” 1st man ” Six foot tall, blonde, big tits, mini skirt, high heels and a boob tube, whats yours look like?” 2nd man says,…
So my wife came up to me and said, “Take off my shirt.” So I took off her shirt. Then she said, “Take off my skirt.” I took off her skirt. “Take off my shoes.” I took off her shoes. “Now my hose, bra, and panties.” I took them off. Then she looked at me…
A travelling salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. A travelling salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. A 10 year old boy answers the door in a dress and bra with a cigar in one hand and whiskey in the other. The traveling salesman asks, “Excuse…
Grudge Pregnancy A man went to the doctor and said, “My wife’s pregnant, but we haven’t had sex in over a year. I don’t understand it.” ​ The doctor said, “It’s what we in the medical profession call a grudge pregnancy.” ​ The man asked, “What’s a grudge pregnancy?” ​ The doctor replied, “Well, somebody’s…
I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny. I said, “Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you.” He looked me in the eye and said, “Well, my grandpa lived to 103.” “Oh, really? Did *he* eat a lot of chocolate?” “No, he…