Two babies are next to eachother in the nursing ward of the hospital One proudly says to the other: “I am a boy!” The other one says: “I don’t believe you, you have to show me!” The first one says: “Fine, just wait until the nurse leaves the room” When finally the nurse leaves the…
A man was in hospital and a nurse was giving him a bed bath with a sponge The man asked her are my testicles black? The nurse replied she wasn’t going to be washing them. The man kept asking, are my testicles black? Eventually she agreed to have a look, she raised the covers and…
I was leaving the office the other day when I found The CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. Listen, he said, this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me? Sure,…
An English businessman is composing a letter to his competitor: *Regrettably, I cannot dictate to my secretary what I think of You, since she, after all, is a lady. Moreover, I don’t even have a right to think of You like that, since I, after all, am a Gentleman. However, I am certain that You…
An employee was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here and my Secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?”…
A man walks into a bar… and glances at the menu. * **Sandwiches, $2** * **Hand jobs, $5** He calls over to the waitress, a gorgeous young blonde woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties. “Hey, hi there. Are you the one doing the hand jobs?” She smiles thinly, “Yes sir, I am.” “Well,…
The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier. “Stay there baby” she said to me, “while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you.” She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me. “Wow honey, that’s a winning costume you’ve got there.” I…
The only joke I know. How does a cow introduce his wife…? He says, “meat patty”. I am very sorry. Edit: it makes sense that my only popular post is a dad joke. I’ve never received any awards before so thank you everyone, this is insane. Also, I understand everyone is upset about the cow…
A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They were appalled at his spiky hair, pierced nose, tattoos and a bad attitude. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Honey,” the mother said, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” “Of course he is,” the daughter replied. “If he…
Doctors and nurses A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.” “Curious about sex?” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken…