My best friend passed away recently, and grieving before his grave I said, “Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?” A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. As my child grew older each day, I realized he…
A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin… A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word. Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains… “If she ain’t good enough for her daddy, her…
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop… To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can’t believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won’t even bake a cake. The baker replies, “No…
A lady walks into a pharmacy. She asks the pharmacist for cyanide. Pharmacist: “I can’t sell you that. It’s a deadly poison.” Lady: “I know. I want to kill my husband. He’s having an affair.” Pharmacist: “I don’t care. I can’t sell you cyanide.” Lady shows him a picture of her husband and the pharmacist’s…
A lady comes home from her doctors appointment grinning from ear to ear Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your…
Dave’s wife tied him to the bed posts last night. Dave’s wife tied him to the bed posts last night. Unable to move, he could do nothing to stop her slowly stripping down to her bra and pants in front of him. She knelt on the bed, between his thighs and said “Ok big boy,…
So it’s the first day of college, the Dean of Women is finishing up her speech to the female freshman. “In conclusion, ladies, if you get pregnant, you’ll likely have to drop out and miss out on many of your dreams. Think about it: is that one hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of commitment?”…
So it’s the first day of college, and the girls are finishing up orientation with the Dean of Women. “In conclusion, ladies, if you get pregnant, you’ll likely have to drop out and miss out on many of your dreams. Think about it: is that one hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of commitment?” “Now,”…
There was a married couple named Cody and Vicky. After being together for 5 years, they decided to have a baby. After numerous attempts Vicky gets pregnant. 7 months into the pregnancy they start to think about baby names. Neither of them could come to an agreement so they decided to combine their names for…
Two men are playing golf when one realises he’s left his jacket at the last tee He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. “What’s up?” asks his mate. “Well, you see those two women at the tee. One’s my wife, and she’s playing with my mistress.” His mate laughs and says,…