During the cold war The USSR had an epidemic of unplanned pregnancies, so they unwillfuly asked the US for aid since they dudnt had the technology to produce good condoms. They didn’t wanted to look weak so they asked for 1 billion 11 inch condoms. The Americans got their request and didn’t wanted to look…
Two retired business men sitting on a beach. Mike: Nice to meet you. I’m a retired businessman. When my store burned down, rather than rebuilding I took the insurance money and retired here. John: You know, I’m a retired businessman, too. When a flood washed away my store I took the insurance money and retired…
Happy Birthday Henry Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a hooker to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says “HI, I’m Susie, and I’m here to give you super sex.” Henry looks her over,…
My girlfriend “Dad joked” me on a hike. I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike. She said “I bet we couldn’t understand them” I said “why do you think that?” She said “because they probably only bark” She then laughed the next half mile…
Dated a gold digger once. I date this girl once, she was a solid 10. She was smoking hot, and crazy in bed. Things went south though, she claimed I lied about how much money I had. And I was like “my exact words where, that I has worth between 40 and 75 million dollars”….
“Did the doctor stop in to see you yet?” the Nurse asked the patient who had been waiting in an exam room. “Yeah, but it was really strange. He came into the room with a woman, said something about having to go defeat the Daleks, then they hopped in a phone box, and dissapeared. “Oh,…
Don’t eat it! A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the children what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, “**Well, it’s what Mommy calls me sometimes**. ”The…
A man kills a deer A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, “Well it’s what Mommy calls me…
That’s actually rude.. A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said: “Well it’s what Mommy calls me sometimes.” The…
“Mommy, how was I born?” Well, a few years ago, your daddy and I decided to plant a seed. Your dad put it in the ground and then I took care of it for a few months. With, time, the plant started growing more and more leaves until it grew into a big healthy plant….