3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park… Girl 1 turned to her mother and said… Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily? Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head. The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question… Girl 2: Why…
A little boy, his mother and his father are at a circus watching the elephants… When the little boy notices something hanging between the elephants legs. He asks ‘mommy, what’s that hanging between the elephants legs?’ His mother says ‘oh, it’s nothing’ The little boy turns to his father and says ‘daddy, what’s that hanging…
Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex. The first guy starts, “Y’all ain’t got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I’ve slept with more than 1,000 women!”…
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Nigerian are in a maternity ward waiting room A nurse comes in and says, “Gentlemen, I’m sorry, but there’s been a mixup with the babies. Could you please help sort it out?” She takes them to the nursery and shows two white babies and one black baby. The Englishman…
Mr. Smith is on vacation with his wife and mother-in-law in Jerusalem One day, his mother-in-law dies quite suddenly. An undertaker proposes to bury the deceased there in Jerusalem. ‘No, thank you,’ says Mr. Smith. ‘I’d rather have the body shipped back to New York.’ ‘But why not?’ asks the undertaker. ‘Shipping a body is…
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his business. His mother walks in. “Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!” “I’m kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?” A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. “Hey, champ! How you doing?” The kid ignores him. “Don’t like…
An elderly man gets pulled over by the cops… An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse and the effects it has on…
An old man is pulled over… An older man is pulled over by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human…
A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. “What do you think you’re doing?” asked the wife. “It’s on sale. Only $10 for a case,” he replies. “We can’t afford it. Put it back,” demands the wife. They continue shopping and…