Man in ecstasy… He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth…in and out…in and out. It was going on 20 minutes at this point… Her heart was pounding…her face was flushed…then she moaned, softly at…
After a 2000 year absence, the Virgin Mary takes a trip down to earth. ​ After a couple of days, she calls back to heaven. “Hi Peter, this is the Virgin Mary. I met a man.” Peter says to her, “That’s not bad. This is how it is down on earth.” The next day she…
Mrs. Smith walks into a pharmacy and asks to buy poison ‘Dear lady, why would you want to buy poison?’ asks the pharmacist. ‘To kill my husband!’ ‘I can’t sell you poison so you can kill someone!’ As an answer to that, Mrs. Smith puts a picture on the counter where one can clearly see…
The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset… She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Maid: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Maid: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.” Maid: “The second reason is that I am…
A car full of Irish nuns sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up along side of them. “Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don’t think they know…
A teacher is teaching good manners to her third-grade class and asks them how they would excuse themselves to use the restroom during a dinner date. Michael answers, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.” The teacher says this is rude. Sherman answers, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the…
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.” Five minutes later…
The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and the wife was upset. The wife asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Helen: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.” Helen: “The second…
A woman is pregnant with twins when she gets into a car accident… …she wakes up in the hospital and the doctor says her twins have already been delivered, a boy and a girl. But since she wasn’t around to name them, they had to ask her brother to give them legal names. The woman…
A wife desperately tries to prove to her husband that her affair is over. He had already forgiven her, but still hadn’t spoken to her in days. The only thing she could think of, is that he must still not trust her. To convince him, she cut her ex lover’s obituary out of the newspaper….