A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary… A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you,…
A devout Muslim entered a cab in London He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music, because in the time of the prophet there was no music especially western music, which is the music of the infidel. The cab driver…
A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday. At the club, the doorman says, “Hi Jim, how are you?” The wife asks, “How does he know you?” Jim says, “Oh dear, I play football with him.” Inside the Bartender Says, “The Usual, Jim?” Jim says to Wife, “Before…
What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to…
A woman says to her blonde friend… “I have a riddle for you. How many pancakes could you eat on an empty stomach?” The blonde ponders for a moment. “I’d say maybe four.” “No, you could only eat one, because after that your stomach would no longer be empty!” “Ha, clever!” says the blonde. That…
A large man is seated in an airplane A large man is seated in an airplane, stuck between the arm rests, wiggling around furiously and looking uncomfortable in his seat. The flight attendant notices and approaches him, “Do you need help sir?” “Yea, I need a screwdriver!” “Right away, sir.” The flight attendant walks to…
So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, “Caution, I’m a maneater”. I walked up to the girl and timidly said, “Excuse me, Miss…about your shirt.” She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted, “Oh let me guess, you’re here to make a comment…
A gorgeous young brunette goes into the doctor’s office A gorgeous young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me”. “The brunette took her finger, pushed on her left wrist and screamed,then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more….
I got a divorce for my birthday. When I woke up, my wife and kids forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I didn’t get any birthday cards or phone calls. When I went into work my secretary wished me happy birthday and I felt really special. We went out for a drink after work…
The Mormon and the Irishman A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He…