There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color. So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. “Hey dad look im white!” His dad kicks his ass, and says “Alright go show your mother.” The kid…
The teacher of little Johnny’s class asks the pupils if they can use the word ‘beautiful’ in a sentence… A little boy sticks his hand up. “Yes, Daniel” “I saw a butterfly on my way to school this morning, and it was beautiful”, says Daniel. “Very good, Daniel”, smiles the teacher, “Anybody else?”. Veronica’s hand…
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He grabs the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 5-year-old son comes…
In a second grade classroom, The teacher Ms. Jones is calling on students to ask them: what does your mom or dad do as a job, and can you spell that word? She calls on Sally who says “my daddy is a baker, ummm I think it’s b-a-c-e-r?” “Very close! Great work!” She gives Sally…
A teacher tells her students to write a sentence defining power. Once everyone has finished, she reads the sentences out to the class: – “Power is when you can do good,” – Good, Max, nice sentence. That’s an A. – “Power is when you can do good and punish evil,” – very good, Sarah, beautiful….
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked. ‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered. ‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young…
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be…
Surprising the Cow Little Johnny lives with his mother on a farm, one day he comes running in and screams: “Mommy, Mommy, the Ox is fucking the Cow”. His Mother slaps him hard and says: “We don’t use language like that in this house, the next time it happens, say ‘The Ox is surprising the…
4 men are in the hospital waiting rooms, because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations, you’re a father of twins.” The man says, “That’s a crazy coincidence, because I work for the Minnesota Twins.” The nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father…
“Susie asks, “Mommy, why do you always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?” “Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. You’ll have to ask her.” “Granny”, asks Susie the next time her grandmother visits. “Why do you and mommy always cut the ends off the…