Kinda of a shitty joke but…… Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax…
A British Airways flight just reached it’s cruise altitude The captain grabs the microphone and announces: ” Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain. Welcome to flight 293, non-stop service from London-Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and… OH… MY GOD!”…
A man saw a gorgeous flight attendant sitting alone reading the paper in an international airport. He couldn’t quite pin down the exact airline, but he wanted to show off as a man of the world. He tried by saying Air France’s old motto. ‘Making the sky the best place on earth!’ The stewardess gave…
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn…
The son of a bitch Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself… “2+5, the son of a bitch is 7” “3+6, the son of a bitch is 9″ His mother heard this & asked, ” Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?” “Oh Mom. Don’t disturb. I am doing my maths homework”…
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier…
Truck Driver and the Bikers A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker’s coffee,…
A man is walking along the street one morning, feeling hungry. He sees a sign in the window of a restaurant that says, “Try our Exotic Breakfast now”, so he walks in and sits down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks what he wants. The man asks, “What’s your Exotic Breakfast?” “Baked…
My granddad had my sides busting with this one over Christmas! A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The…
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and…