A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby. Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you. Woman: Oh no! Not my brother! He’s an idiot! What…
New Apple Product Announcement: The iBra Apple announced a new product: a bra that can store and play music. The iBra. The product is being praised as a step toward better relations between men and women. It is intended to address the complaints of women about men staring at their breasts and not listening to…
A man sees a lady with big breasts. He asks, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies,…
There’s a Russian gay couple… One of them is called Vladislav, the other is called Karl. After happily loving each other for a fair few years, Karl discovers Vladislav is having an affair with Vladimir. Devastated, Karl gets onto his knees in front of Vladislav and bellows: “VLADISLAV? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me,…
An Elvis Presley fan decided to get two tattoos of Elvis: one on each thigh. However, she was not entirely pleased with the end result. One night she’s had a few too many in a bar. She goes up to the bartender, lifts her skirt and asks “Do either of these look like Elvis to…
A cop is driving down the street when he sees a woman walking toward him with her right breast hanging out of her shirt. The cop pulls over and says to her, “Ma’am, don’t you realize that I can cite you for indecent exposure?” The woman, incredulous, replies, “Why on Earth would you do that?”…
Two men at an airport First man says, “I can’t find my wife.” Second man says, “I can’t find mine either, what does yours look like?” First man ” Six foot tall, blonde, big tits, mini skirt, high heels and a boob tube, whats yours look like?” Second man says, “Fuck her, we’ll look for…
My mother used to tell me this joke time and again when I was a child. A mosquito got old enough to fly on his own, when he came back his mother was happily waiting for him. -“How was your first flight, my dear?” The mother asked. -“Amazing.” He answered “Everyone thought I was doing…
Guy goes into a bar A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?” The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.” The bartender says, “What do you have?” The…
A devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a…