My wife’s sister visited us yesterday in her brand new Porsche. Astonished, my wife asked her “How could you afford this?!” “You know, a blow job every now and again makes my husband very generous,” she replied. Surprised, my wife turned to me and winked, “I think I’ll start doing that.” “Me too,” I replied,…
I went to a brothel and met a prostitute I asked her what are the prices? She said: £20 for a hand job £50 for a blow job £80 for sex And for £120, i’ll do anything! Anything hmmm…. She’s now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room. You can ge some real…
The captain and the prostitute A captain of the army goes to a prostitute and asks her : “Say, madam, for a hundred dollars, would you accept my company ?” And the prostitute answers : “Of course, a handsome military like you” The captains thanks her, turns around and shout : “Company, FORWARD !” (I…
A priest is walking down the street when he’s approached by a hooker…. A priest is walking down the street when he’s approached by a hooker. “Twenty bucks for a blow-job, Father,” she says. Startled, the priest hurries back to the church and summons the Mother Superior into his office. “Mother Superior, what’s a blow-job?”…
A boy asks his father what’s the difference between theory and practice The father sends him to his mother and big sister to ask them, if they would sleep with a stranger for 10.000 Euros. “They both said they would” reports the boy back. “You see?” asks the father. “Theoretically we have now 20.000 Euros,…
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens……. “That’s so clever,” the woman gasps. “How did…
Mother superior called an urgent meeting of all the 100 nuns in her convent Mother Superior : Today I found a man’s underwear behind the bush .. 99 nuns : Oh Jesus !! One nun : teeheehee Mother : Also I found a used condom 99 nuns : Oh Jesus!! One nun : teeheehee.. Mother…
A woman was breastfeeding in the bus the other day …And suddenly, this old lady gets up and starts screaming “you can’t do that here, have you no shame? in front of everyone???”. Everybody turns around, the old lady keeps screaming, the woman with her baby stands here mortified… …I had to pull my pants…
Three blonde women are talking about their pregnancies The first one says: “Whenever we have sex, my husband is always on top. So that means I’m having a baby boy.” The second one says: “That means I’m having a baby girl because I’m always the one on top.” Suddenly the third blonde starts crying hysterically…
“The car won’t start,” said a wife to her husband. “I think there’s water in the carburetor.” “How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. “You don’t even know what the carburetor is.” “I’m telling you,” repeated the wife, “I ‘m sure there’s water in the carburetor.” “We’ll see,” mocked the husband. “Let me check…