A blind woman got on a bus. Sadly, all the seats were taken. A man noticed that no one else on the bus was willing to give up their seat for the blind woman, so he kindly guided her to his seat and took a standing spot. As the bus started up, the man frowned…
A farmer had three daughters… and each was going on a date one Friday night. The first daughters date showed up “Hi I’m Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?” Betty left with Freddy. The second daughters date showed up “Hey I’m Joe here to pick up Flo to go…
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?” he asks the shop assistant. In a manner, she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95,…
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather…
A man goes to his doctor and says “I think I’m pregnant”. “I was joking with my girlfriend and I pissed on her pregnancy test and it came back positive!” The doctor looked worried, “Well, unfortunately, when a man gets a positive on a birth control test, it might be a sign of prostate cancer.”…
3 pregnant woman…. Three pregnant women are sitting around a table discussing their pregnancies. The first one says, “I eat so many dills, my baby is gonna love pickles.” The second woman says, “My baby is gonna love cheese, I eat swiss by the block!” The first two mothers stare at the third waiting for…
So a man was thinking about what his wife said about pregnancy. His wife had just been arguing with him the child birth is more painful then getting hit in the balls. He politely thought about it from both angles and realized he was right all along. Because if a woman gives birth after about…
One day, a boy comes home from school to find his mom waiting for him. “I just got a call from your teacher,” says the boy’s mother. “She says that she wants you to learn the difference between a man and a woman. Take off my dress.” So the boy takes off his mother’s dress….
A Redneck is on his honeymoon…. As they step into the bedroom, she disrobes. He says, “First, woman, make me a drink”. She slips off her panties and says, “Only if you put these on”. He begrudgingly obliges and puts his feet through the holes of her lacy thong. At his thighs, the thong won’t…
Husband asks Wife to make coffee Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?” Wife looks confused, “But that’s your task, honey.” woman says “What? Why?”man asks. “It’s all over the Bible, dear.” woman replies “The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to…