Four men are in a hospital because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations, you’re a father of twins.” The man says, “That’s crazy, because I work for the Minnesota Twins.” The nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father of triplets.” The man…
Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies. A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, “Congratulations! Your wife had a baby.” The man says, “What a coincidence! I’m the president of And1!” The nurse goes away. Then…
A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station. As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, “Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?” The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn…
The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.” The Doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your…
The night before the wedding The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare. “If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?” she slurred at the other bridesmaid. “7-Up, because he’s got seven inches and…
A Farmer and the Interviewer Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce? Farmer: Which one, black one or white one? Interviewer: Black one Farmer: 2 liters per day. Interviewer: And the white one? Farmer: 2 liters per day. ​ Interviewer: Where do they sleep? Farmer: The black one or the White one?…
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be…
Taxidermist A guy walks into a bar in West Virginia and orders a white wine. All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up from their beer and whiskey, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north. The bartender says, “You ain’t from around here, are ya?” The guy says, “No, I’m from Canada.”…
Occupational Reaction A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped scant inches from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look…
Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. “Well, I’m sure Joe would be pleased,” she said. “I’m sure you’re right,” replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. “How much did this really cost?”…