A kindergarten teacher asked her students to talk about what they did during the recent school holidays. She asked them to use “grown-up words” as opposed to baby language. The first little one said he went to see his “nana.” The teacher said, “No! You went to see your ‘grandmother.’ Use grown-up words.” The next…
A taxi driver speeds through a red light without even looking And the passenger says, “whoa, what are you doing?! That was a red!” The driver replies, “don’t worry about it. My cousin, he does it all the time.” The passenger sits back until the driver blows through another red. He practically leaps out of…
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver…
Taxi ride A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up onto the sidewalk, and stopped inches away from a woman with a baby stroller. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver…
Lost my job on the first day Started my new job at a hardware store today. Lasted less than a day. About two hours in, this fat, ugly woman covered in tattoos and piercings storms in with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them the whole way through the entrance. She was loud enough to…
An old Jew on his deathbed A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: “Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?” And Sarah says, “Yes, I am here.” He then says: “Are my children — my wonderful children — are they here…
An old Jew is on his deathbed. A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: “Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?” And Sarah says, “Yes, I am here.” He then says: “Are my children — my wonderful children — are they…
Four men are in a hospital because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations, you’re a father of twins.” The man says, “That’s crazy, because I work for the Minnesota Twins.” The nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father of triplets.” The man…
Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies. A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, “Congratulations! Your wife had a baby.” The man says, “What a coincidence! I’m the president of And1!” The nurse goes away. Then…
A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station. As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, “Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?” The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn…