A duck walks into a store… He shouts at the proprietor, “Hey! Got any duck food?” The store proprietor answers, “No, we don’t.” The next day, the duck returns, and asks, “Hey! Got any duck food?” The store proprietor says, “I told you yesterday, we don’t have any duck food. Now please leave.” The next…
A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks…
A prostitution ring gets busted one afternoon. As all of the girls were lined up outside the police station to get booked, one of the girls noticed her grandma walking by, who came up to her and said, “Why Hello?! What are you waiting in line for dear?” The prostitute, embarrassed, lies and says she’s…
An old Jew on his deathbed A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: “Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?” And Sarah says, “Yes, I am here.” He then says: “Are my children — my wonderful children — are they here…
An old Jew is on his deathbed. A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: “Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?” And Sarah says, “Yes, I am here.” He then says: “Are my children — my wonderful children — are they…
Four men are in a hospital because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations, you’re a father of twins.” The man says, “That’s crazy, because I work for the Minnesota Twins.” The nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father of triplets.” The man…
Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies. A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, “Congratulations! Your wife had a baby.” The man says, “What a coincidence! I’m the president of And1!” The nurse goes away. Then…
A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station. As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, “Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?” The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn…
The night before the wedding The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare. “If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?” she slurred at the other bridesmaid. “7-Up, because he’s got seven inches and…
A Farmer and the Interviewer Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce? Farmer: Which one, black one or white one? Interviewer: Black one Farmer: 2 liters per day. Interviewer: And the white one? Farmer: 2 liters per day. ​ Interviewer: Where do they sleep? Farmer: The black one or the White one?…