Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon…
So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole… …A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her…
A blonde got tired of blonde jokes… One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know…
An old man walks into a bar…. He sees a sign that says, “Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00.” Checking his wallet for the cash, he walks up to the bar and beckons to a gorgeous blonde serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile,…
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says “We need to find a faster way to get home.” The next day, they come to…
One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spots an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolls to a stop at the curb, a figure leaps into the cab and slams the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulls away, he is startled to see…
Newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time . He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. “What happened to you feet?” his wife asked. “I had a childhood disease called tolio.” “Don’t you mean polio?” “No, tolio, it only affects the…
Three men are chatting when the first says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber. “I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe.” “I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician,” says the second. “I went home last night, and what…
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I…
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “David, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she…