My wife is a hooker? My wife woke me this morning after being out all night I asked her where she was and she told me that because we were going through some money problems she decided that she was going to go on the game and after a lot of arguing I asked how…
At breakfast, a husband says to his wife, “I want to try doggy tonight.” Surprisingly enough, the wife agrees. So that night, both quite excited, the husband cooks his wife a lovely dinner. After enjoying the meal they head upstairs and get into bed. The husband leans over to his wife, kisses her on the…
A college professor started to notice that one of his students, Dave, started gaining lots of female attention. So, one day he asks Dave about his secret. Dave replies: “Well, before sex I simply whip out my willy and smack it against the bedside table, like a hammer. It numbs it up and makes me…
A lumberjack walks into a shop to buy a chainsaw… The shopkeeper picks one out and says “this one can cut down 5 trees in 2 minutes”. The lumberjack is impressed by this and buys the chainsaw. 2 days later, the lumberjack comes back to the shop with the chainsaw and asks for a refund….
Two guys are playing golf. Two women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up. One man says to his friend, “I’m gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.” ​ He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his…
A dominatrix walks down the hallway of her brothel… …into one of the many rooms. Inside, there’s a man blindfolded, handcuffed, and chained to the floor. She walks up and slaps him as hard as she can and says, “Who’s my little bitch?” The man screams and yells, “What the fuck are doing?” The mistress…
A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death. He summoned the astrologer and gave him this command: “Prophet, tell me when you will…
A Japanese businessman hails a taxi… As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by. “Oooh,” exclaims the businessman, “that’s a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!” Moments later, another car speeds ahead. “Ahhhhh,” exclaims the businessman again, “a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!” Then once more, another car rushes…
Three drunks and a taxi driver 3 drunk guys entered a taxi . The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped…
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and…