A woman was asked for a pay raise by her maid Woman: Why do you want a raise? Maid: There are 3 reasons why I want a raise. The first one is that I iron better than you. Woman: Bullshit! Who said that you iron better than me? Maid: Your husband said so. Woman: Oh……
A midwife calls a doctor “Doctor she’s been in labor for 36 hours we need to do a c section.” “Not so fast,” says the doctor “there’s one more thing to try” He goes to the obviously pained mother to be and says “what do you call maids in space.” After the woman gives him…
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel… and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died…
A little boy… wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you’re bouncing up and down on him.” His mom…
An American man visits the Holy Land… An American man visits the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Sadly the mother-in-law died. When seeing the local Israeli undertaker, it was explained that they could ship the body home for $5,000. But if they buried her locally it would cost only $150. The man said…
Cop understood the assignment. I got pulled over for speeding today. Before the officer could even say a word, I pleaded, “Please, let me explain. The woman in the back seat is my mother-in-law. She’s been living with us for the past three months, and today she finally decided to return to her own house….
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land…. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. An undertaker told them “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.” The man thought about it and told him he…
Little Johnny’s parents decided to have sex. So to get him out of the house they tell him to go to the balcony and count the number of red cars on the road, Johnny says sure and goes out. After they’ve finished having sex they call him inside and ask him ” So how many…
A husband hires a private detective to find out if his wife is cheating on him. The detective reports back and says he discovered, unfortunately, that she is. “What happened?” asks the husband “She went to a hotel and waited in the bar area. On three different occasions men came up to her, handed her…
Cop on Patrol A cop is patrolling at night and sees a car parked in lover’s lane. He knocks on the window, when it’s rolled down he sees a guy in the front seat playing on his phone and a girl in the back seat reading a magazine. The cop says “What’s going on here?”…