After the honeymoon. Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After along period of silence she finally speaks. Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married…
A man was crossing the jungle when he got ambushed by a group of natives. They had fearsome tattoos and bloodthirsty expressions in their faces and in front of them their terrible chieftain, a man the size of a mountain. “Well, now I’m fucked,” says the man quietly, when suddenly gusts of wind start blowing…
Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him. After some time, Lois said “Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I’ve regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.” “You don’t need to…
A blonde boards a plane to Miami… A blonde boards a plane to Miami and takes a seat in first class even though she has an economy ticket. A flight attendant tells her several times to move to economy class, but the blonde doesn’t listen. Exasperated, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit. Seconds later…
Honey, before it starts. -Honey can you bring me a beer before it starts? She brings him a beer. -Honey can you pass me the remote before it starts? She passes him the remote. -Honey can you put my work clothes in the washer before it starts? She gets up and puts his working clothes…
Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately Doctor: Well, I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news… Karen: Don’t give me this labs nonsense, you bureaucratic paper pusher! I don’t believe Western medicine anyways! I’ve been following homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches, and healing crystals all my life, and…
A Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer are playing golf An engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are…
An Irishman in a bar hears a familiar accent, and says to the guy next to him “Are you Irish, then?” “That I am” “Well I”l be, let’s have a whiskey! Where are you from?” “Dublin” “Me too!, That calls for another drink: Bartender!” “Where in Dublin”, says the other feller “Temple Bar” “Fuck Me!…
A teacher asks the children in her class what they done at the weekend… “I went out for the day, and rode on the choo choo”, said Billy. “Billy”, said the teacher, “we don’t use childish and immature language in my class. You rode on a train… Steve?” “My dad and I went go-karting but…
3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question He turns to the first nu and asks “who was the first man on earth”? “Adam” she replies. Trumpets sound, the sky lights up, and the gates open for her to…